Kentucky Fried Chaos

Once or twice a week I dine in at the cafeteria. There are a few meals I really enjoy here, my favorite being the flank sdteak with chimichurri sauce. I also like the chicken piccata (mmm capers!) and any time corn nibblets, peas, string beans, or brussels sprouts are served. But then there are the days with some cheese-laden entrée. Or something nondescript like some taco salad crap. Sure, I could get a burger or steak sandwich from the grill or turkey from the deli section but even that gets old. On days such as these I go out. I am often fond of a lunch time drive anyhow to break up the monotony of the workday.

When I do venture out, sometimes I will go to downtown Hopkinton (Bill's Pizza, Golden Spoon Café, Dynasty Chinese food (a co-worker here calls it "Die Nasty") but, more often, I will travel two exits down to Milford as there are more options there, Medway Lotus (Chinese), Tennessee's (BBQ), Applebee's, Bugaboo Creek, Friendly's and, in a pinch, McDonald's, Burger King, or Kentucky Fried Chicken. Today was one of those "in a pinch" days and I figured I'd go cheap and go to KFC.

As I drove there I debated whether I wanted original recipe or crispy. I figured I wanted to go light on the grease and get crispy today knowing full well the tradeoff would be the risk of the chicken breast being too dry. When I swung open the door there were a half dozen people in front of me and I took this time to study the menu more carefully. Hmm, maybe the combo 3? Or the bucket of hot wings (I can save some for later), or maybe the chicken strips instead of whole pieces? Whatever my choice I know I must have a biscuit. This KFC had mini-apple pies, not the normal sized ones but three mini ones as a package deal. I would get those pies plus six chicken strips (versus four), and a medium Mountain Dew. I rehearsed this order in my head so I would not change as I can be indecisive at times, like I was at Ruby Tuesday last night.

I had plenty of time to decide. The line was moving slow. The kid working the register was inexperienced or overworked or both, but he was trying. The second guy ahead of me seemed frustrated about something and people both in front of and behind me began to chatter and comment. I'm pretty laid back and it takes a lot to get me going so I patiently waited and just observed all the bickering. The guy in the front wanted some wings but there were none left and there would be a wait! To his point, the staff seemed very unprepared today. The guy in front of me was next. "So you're out of wings?" he asked. The kid confirmed the paltry poultry situation, then checked with one of his staff, and said it would be 8 minutes before the next ones were ready. The guy says 'Naw I've already waited 10 minutes." The customer debated buying three wings separately. They would be $1.29 each. I showed him the sign for 3 hot wings for $3.69 or a bucket of 20 for $11.99 but he didn’t want them hot. He went back to his original request of a combo meal of thigh and wing but didn’t want the soda. The kid said the soda was free. "But it isn't free" the guy retorted. The kid scratched his head. Then, to appease the guest, started calculating what it would be for each piece separately. I felt bad for him. Obviously the combo was designed to be cheaper than the sum of all its parts but I think he gave up his mathematical proof. He was nebulous in his calculation. In resignation he told him it was $5.55 (the sign said 5.35 + tax) and reiterated "the drink is free with the combo." The guy didn't want a drink and had to remind the kid that it "wasn't free, but fine, he'd take it". The guy asked for his manager twice and the kid said she was off today. The guy turns to me and says 'welcome to America,' I suppose in reference to his nationality which appeared to be Indian, possibly. The guy wondered why they were so unprepared at noon as stuff seemed to be backed up. His point was valid but the guy had no patience. Most people don't. Especially in the uptight East Coast. The kid was trying his best, it wasn't like a total disaster, he was just working solo when he should have had some help.
At this time, the guy behind me left, talking to himself. Why are people so difficult? The kid was having a rough day. I know how it is to work with customers. People suck and are ungrateful. And they delight in spewing a litany of criticism to make themselves feel better. I was in no hurry (no real time constraints today besides the umpteenth hour of working on my year-end review self-assessment at work). I just smiled and silently laughed in acknowledgement of the grumpy guys in line with me, but I was not going to add my voice to the barrage of insults to the kid who really was doing OK, just a tad slow. Give the kid a chance. My turn came and I gave him the easy order and was served promptly. I ate four of my six chicken strips and the biscuit. I figured I'd save the other two strips for the ride home or a late afternoon snack. The mini apple pies were good, pillow shaped, and about the size of two tater tots joined side to side. The chicken strips were dry as I did not ask for catsup. A new wave of customers had come in. As I deposited my trash in the can and headed for the door I heard another customer ask "is anyone working this register?" and then fifteen seconds later a woman rattling off her order for the kid. "Side of mac and cheese but I want this instead of that and don’t forget the…" I thought to myself this poor Indian kid is gonna catch hell whenever his manager does return. I left and stepped into the cold sunny day, started the car, sped up the onramp to 495, cranking the radio.

The last two chicken strips did not make it to the next exit, even without the catsup.